On Friendship...

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

-C.S. Lewis

When I take time to look at all of the amazing things God has blessed me with, none shine truer than the people whom I have grown to know and love as friends. It is these people, as Lewis said, that grab your arm when you fall and help you up. They are not, in a literal sense, essential to our survival on this planet, but much like a good book and a cup of tea, they bring supreme comfort and relaxation in a world so monotonously plagued by worry and anxiety. True friendship is not going to the mall with someone, or sitting next to them in a movie theater. Friendship is not defined by what is done and said, but rather what is equally understood by both parties. The best friends I have are the ones with whom I can sit in silence with, marveling at a world so beautifully broken, and never feel the need to utter a single word. It is this deep connection, this state of simply being fulfilled in the presence of another human being, that brings the love of God from places seemingly unreachable into the very core of my heart.

But what happens when one finds themselves walking the paths of life without a companion, without someone to carry the latern and illuminate the path? Rest assured that the light of God is far more powerful than what any man can carry, but at that moment, does that notion ever feel securing? I look back on what I refer to as the 'dark times' in my life, and I attribute most of my depression to the absence of a faith, the asbence of God. Truth be told, however, it was the rejection of my peers that dealt such a crippling blow to my self-esteem. I often felt like Chihiro in Spirited Away while wandering the halls of my school. The classrooms were filled not with students and teachers, but rather with strange spirits whose maneurisms I could never hope to understand. I ran in desperation, trying to persuade myself that this was all a dream, hoping to find something real and tangible that I could call my own. In retrospect, I see now how foolish I was. I blamed everyone for not accepting me, never noticing that I wasn't really giving them anything to accept. I was much like a mason building a brick wall, always trapped behind his work. Every so often, someone would remove a brick, peer in, and wave. Frantically, I would get to work replacing the brick, filling in the whole that genuine human kindness had so easily created. Sure, I still have some bricks there, but I often feel like I have retired, in a sense. My hands are tired and calloused from meticoulsly removing the wall, brick by brick. Every new hole created brings a smiling face into view, and I realize that all this hard work has not been done in vain.

So now I am left with two options; to focus on the time I may have wasted, or to simply sit and revel in the pure goodness that can eminate from even one cherished friend. While sitting in a warm living room, surrounded by people so close that the word family is incapable of describing their vast importance to me, I see that it was never really an option at all. Thank you all and God bless!